#WCW on Opportunity

When things happen in our lives, bringing disappointment into our hearts we lean on our friends for support and compassion. And more likely than not we have heard or even offered this adage (or a bastardized version thereof) with the desire it will help the person find hope. I know I say it to myself to kickstart my brain into positive thinking: “When one door closes, another door opens.”

But did you know that is not the entire quote? In fact, the point, nay, the meaning of the quote as originally stated has been dropped. I discovered this while working on the post about this month’s poetry party and wanted to get the wording correct as I’ve heard many bastardized versions and wanted to get it right. I was surprised first by who said it. And then, of course, that there was more to it. And I like the entire quote. I like it a lot because it is powerful and true.

I am a person who rarely lives in the present. I spend a lot of time thinking about the past and a lot of time pondering about the future… which is actually quite ridiculous because we can never imagine what the future truly holds. I like the quote because it reminds me that we must remember where to focus our lives and spend our time.

#WCW on opportunity | Memee's Musings

I hope you enjoyed the relevant quote for this week’s Words Crush Wednesday. If you’d like to play along with me here are the details:

Cut/paste and follow these simple rules:

(1) Always pingback to the site you discovered #wcw on with every Words Crush Wednesday post. In this case, that’s me: memeesmusings.com!

(2) In your post, use the badge they’ve created just for you – In this case, you’d use the Panda badge (size doesn’t matter), just grab it below.

(3) Tag your post #wcw so the Words Crush Wednesday community players can find you.

(4) Optional: When you are ready, create your own badge for those you inspire to play Words Crush Wednesday. If you do not create your own badge then your inspirees MUST use the badge from the blogger who inspired you — it’s on your post — so be sure to make it easy for them to find.

 

If you wanna play #wcw with me, here's your badge!
If you wanna play #wcw with me, grab that panda badge!

* To see the badge I earned, visit my very first #WCW post. And, here’s my pingback: Rebirth of Lisa

The Funeral that Saved a Life

Moving-On-Quotes-0085-87-6Well it’s done. The first time I had to see my ex since the heart-wrenching, disrespectful break-up. And, I am so proud of myself! I felt no pangs of lust or desire and I even “congratulated” his new bride. It was a moment I had not expected to come, but we were face-to-face and so I held my head high, reached out to catch her attention and congratulated her with full sincerity. I could tell by her expression that she was very wary, and that’s okay. We had a harsh introduction to this new relationship status we both shockingly found ourselves in. I take responsibility for my actions and the subsequent fears they arose for her. But now, I don’t feel afraid about what if I bump into her? What if I bump into him? It’s done. That frightening milestone for the future has passed. And we can all go on with our lives. Closure, damn it feels good!

☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀

For more on our story and my road to healing you can read these previous posts:

Dream Reader You’re My Dream Weaver

Flirting With Disaster

Our Song: Then and Now

I’m Pathetic and I Know It

There are others scattered about, you can find them in my Thoughts Treasury and from time to time others may flow onto this page. After spending twelve years together and a never-saw-it-coming end (and considering how ugly it actually got), I wouldn’t be surprised if things come up from time to time. However, I am mostly healed and I have certainly moved on. Yay me!

I’m Pathetic and I Know it!

swing carouselThe last time we spoke you said — no, you emphasized, that you never stopped wanting me, loving me, needing me and yet you come and go from my life like the wind changes its currents, quickly and without warning. I have always shared my truths with you, never keeping secrets from you. Am I to stop sharing these truths now, now that they involve the pain you have reeked on my life?  I have to share with someone and you have always been my confidante as I was once yours.  And when I do not share my emotional truths with you, it feels like I am lying to you, betraying what we had, what made our connection special.  I miss you terribly and when you cannot even lift a finger to write two words; “I’m safe” — it cuts very deeply.  We seem to just be going round and round on some carousel and I want to get off and yet I cling so tightly to the ropes I won’t allow myself a moment of weakness in which I can be thrown away from its orbit.  I am pretty hopeless… You certainly didn’t save me from the ups-and-downs of loving you because I continue to breathe for you, I continue to long for you, I continue to weep over you, I continue to fantasize about you… Continue reading

Sitting Alone

Sitting Alone

Sitting alone upon my bed
memories of times together we shared
these visions of you are clogging my head.
I eat. I drink. I sleep.

Sitting alone upon my bed
memories of times together we shared
these visions of you are clogging my head.
I cry. I weep. I steep.

Sitting alone upon my bed
memories of times together we shared
these visions of you are clogging my head.
I hunger; I thirst for your touch
I weep as I sleep dreaming of us.

I awaken and start my day anew.
In the morning I’ll begin the day
feeling happy just thinking of you
because for a brief moment of time
I am able to forget
that in a few short hours I’ll be all alone
in what once was our bed.

 I’ll wail.  I’ll wallow.  My heart filled with sorrow
I now remember what will inevitably follow:
Dreams of you that feel so real
that once again I will forget
that we’re not together
the past is dead.

Again I will waken and start a day fresh and new.
In the morning I’ll feel happiness
I’ll be thinking of you.
For a short time
dreams will make me forget
that once again I will find myself
sitting alone upon my bed
with visions of you clogging my head.

*Special shout out to Jasmine for the poem challenge. You keep inspiring me with your writing, your openness and desire to connect!
Beauty is Found Everywhere

Dream Reader You’re My Dream Weaver

DreamweaverIt has been twelve days since you married Kristyna and of those twelve days we have spent ten of them communicating via email or chat. What is wrong with that picture? I can feel myself softening — and what is wrong with that picture? — my resilience toward you. I should say my will is weakening, but I don’t want to admit to a “negative,” instead I choose the euphemism, “softening.” It is an easier pill to swallow that way; however, it also turns the entire situation into a white lie of sorts. But it’s “just a little white lie.” I tell myself. Intellectually I know that this is the case, it is a lie not meant to mislead or deceive you, but a lie because I am downplaying the reality of our situation. I am subconsciously finding ways to forgive and forget your transgression against me, that betrayal that sliced through me like a lightning strike splitting a tree in half. My world was rocked by the visceral agony I felt coursing throughout my body. And yet I catch myself consciously trying to find an excuse to allow myself to believe it is perfectly acceptable to let you back into my bed… perhaps even the “right thing to do.” I mean, we are in love, aren’t we? Still? I know I am still very much in love with you: mind, body, and soul. Continue reading