Dear Eating Disorder – by Rosie

via Letters to the Mind blog project
Contributing Author: Rosie Elsom

Dear Eating Disorder -  by Rosie | Letters to the MindI hate you for taking over me
and making me believe this is how I want to be.
Why do I stay with you when all you do is put me down?
make me starve ’til I fit into the smallest gown,
with the loss of each gram I’m closer to my goal,
with your grip tightening over my dark soul.
Filled with fear at every bite I take,
your plan, my plan, would be ruined by cake.
Counting calories, and fearing how much I weigh
I am beginning to feel like you are here to stay.
My reflection has become something I fear,
I dread the time I have to look in the mirror.
The pain in my stomach never goes away,
it grumbles with hunger while in bed I lay.
You tell me you are my only true friend
and make me fear the day this relationship must end,
but I know your presence is here for a while,
so I hide this relationship behind a smile.
Dear eating disorder I know you are wrong,
but how can you make me feel this strong?

© Rosie Elsom 2016


About the author:

My name is Rosie, I am 18 years old and from the UK. I suffer from a variety of mental illnesses however this poem is focused particularly on my anorexia which I have suffered with for many years and has led me to numerous inpatient admissions. During my lows, my highs and my admissions, I have found poetry a really positive and productive thing and it has helped me to make sense of some of the chaos in my head.

My favorite quote is one from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë and it is:

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will” – Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre 

I like this quote because sometimes mental illness’ can make you feel trapped but it is important to remember you have the power, potential and the ability to be free.

Blog: Positiviteablog

Read the original post: To my eating disorder (poem)

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Please, if your life is impacted by mental illness help spread awareness and understanding by writing to that illness and sharing it at Letters to the Mind blog project.

Click here to Contribute.

☀ Memee

Dear Anxiety – by B.G.

via Letters to the Mind blog project
Contributing Author: B.G.

Dear Anxiety | Letters to the Mind

 

Dear Anxiety,

I shouldn’t even be spending my time, energy, and talent on you right now but it’s time we get something straight. You’ve been trying your hardest for a while now to drag me down, but as you can see, I’m not giving up. I’m kind, talented, loving, and worth a lot more than to be controlled by you. I want to be a writer, I want to help people, and I don’t want to be afraid to live my life. You’ve stopped me from enjoying doing certain things and even stopped me from doing things altogether, but NO MORE! I know that I won’t get cured overnight, but that’s not going to stop me from proving to myself that I’m stronger than you. Because you know what? I AM!

I’ve accomplished so much in my life, even with you trying to stop me. In high school, when you tried to get to me, I pulled through. I graduated and then I went to college. You followed me there, but I still didn’t give in. I graduated. Hell, I made the Dean’s list several times. You may have caused me to take some online classes instead of going on campus at times, BUT I GOT THROUGH IT!

My life is too important to be squandered away by you. I’ve been working harder, working stronger and I’m going to defeat you! I’ve already shown myself my strength and I’m not going to back down!

You’ve tried to make me think that I’m weak and even though I’ve felt like I was, I know better. You’re a liar and you get a kick out of making people miserable, but I don’t get a kick out of it and I’m not enjoying it. So I’m going to keep showing myself that I’m stronger than you and I’m not going to let you continue to control my life. I’ve seen the damage you can do, to me and to others. However, we’re stronger than you think and we’re tired. We’re tired of you trying to take over, tired of missing out on opportunities, tired of YOU. So don’t think that we’re going to let you win, because we’re stronger. MUCH STRONGER! We’re going to continue to practice on a consistent basis, working in small steps until we reach our goal: to be free of your restraints. Whether or not you’re ready to let go of us, we’re ready to let go of you! -B.G.

About the author:

My name is B.G. and I have been struggling with anxiety for several years. I created my blog Getting Through Anxiety in order to help both myself and others who deal with similar issues. I love to write, read, and watch TV. In college I majored in English and minored in writing. I also have written some posts for The Seeds 4 Life and Battle of Mind. I hope to one day be a fiction author.

“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.” –Toni Morrison

© B.G. 2015

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Please, if your life is impacted by mental illness help spread awareness and understanding by writing to that illness and sharing it at Letters of the Mind blog project.

Contribute.

☀ Memee

My Hero, My Nemesis

A Poem to my manic-depressive personalitiesOh how I love you
and wish you were near
when we are together
conquering the world
is always near!

Oh how I hate you
and wish I could flee
the words you are always
screaming at me:
Worthless! Hopeless! Unloveable!
Inadequate! Boring! Weak! Undeserving!

You can be so relentless, so cruel and mean,
heartless to Me who carries Your pain!

How this world of mine collides
My hero, My nemesis
from one day to the next,
who will be with me — I am so tired of this!

I walk the rope you lie before me
fearing in each and every step
the next one might be the one
where I slip.

Why can’t we come
to some understanding?
Release this ever-present tension
between us, reach a balance
not too high and not too low,
and finally live a life in harmony?

© MemeesMusings/B.L. Memee, 2015-2017. All rights reserved.

I originally published the above poem on Letters to the Mind blog project. Please consider writing to the mental illness that impacts the world you walk in and sharing it with our new community blog. We are hoping other creatives who suffer from a mental illness or have a family member/loved one with a mental illness will write to the illness and post it on the site for two purposes.

The first is as a way to grow and challenge how we relate to our illness and the second is to educate other people about the various mental illnesses that people live with every single day. With education comes understanding and with understanding stigma begins to fall ill and eventually dies.

For more information on contributing at Letters to the Mind blog project, click here.

We ALWAYS need contributors, any and all mental disorders welcome. No one is turned away and your own blogs, media platforms are cataloged and linked on the site.

Thank you,

Memee (and Jade)

Dear Depression – by Matt

via Letters to the Mind blog project
Contributing Author: Matt

Dear Depression | Letters to the Mind

 

Wherever I go, you’re not far behind
You are the shadow cast over my mind
My face is fixed, no twitch no blink
I show no emotion, as I come back from the brink
It took me time to see through your lies
To see the truth hidden in your eyes.

I’ve made some mistakes, there’s no denying
If I claimed anything else, I’d only be lying
I’ve lived my life in black and white
There was no colour, there was no light
I can’t see where I’m going, but I know where I’ve been
I don’t want to return there and see what I’ve once seen.

© Matt McKeen 2015


M_McKeen
About the author:

My name is Matt, and I started this blog nearly two years ago now. It’s been a release from the stresses of everyday life ever since (though I’ve not always written as often as I’d like!). I suffer from both anxiety and depression, but through writing I have found comfort and friends, many of whom have their own struggles with the same illnesses. It’s a constant reminder that we are not alone and to speak out. In silence we suffer.

Blog: The Pebble in my Shoe

“A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.” – Muhammad Ali

 

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Please, if your life is impacted by mental illness help spread awareness and understanding by writing to that illness and sharing it at Letters of the Mind blog project.

Contribute here..

☀ Memee

This Month on GoFundMe: Mental Health

quote-on-stigma-health-57-healthyplace
I do not know if you are aware but I have a link here on Memee’s Musings called This Month on GoFundMe, it is listed in the sidebar under Linky-Dinks Blogroll. Every month or so I feature a different Go Fund Me crowdfunding cause, always something or someone that I personally find worthy. Sometimes they are people I know and sometimes they are not.

This month I decided to highlight a young woman who is part of a social group that I am in. I have not yet met Lourdes yet personally though my online interactions with her have always been nothing short of sweet, kind, and respectful. I like her.

So when I learned recently that she had been hospitalized and diagnosed with a mental health disorder my heart went out to her. I carry a stigma too. It is not an easy life, living with mental illness. I stumbled upon her GoFundMe post yesterday asking for help during this transition period. She has been placed on unpaid medical leave at her job and thus her income and medical insurance are instantly gone, but still must pay her housing costs as we all do. And so she has become this month’s GoFundMe cause. Please read Lourde’s story here.

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I hope you enjoyed the relevant quote for this week’s Words Crush Wednesday. If you’d like to play along with me here are the details:

Cut/paste and follow these simple rules:

(1) Always pingback to the site you discovered #wcw on with every Words Crush Wednesday post. In this case, that’s me: memeesmusings.com!

(2) In your post, use the badge they’ve created just for you – In this case, you’d use the Panda badge (size doesn’t matter), just grab it below.

(3) Tag your post #wcw so the Words Crush Wednesday community players can find you.

(4) Optional: When you are ready, create your own badge for those you inspire to play Words Crush Wednesday. If you do not create your own badge then your inspirees MUST use the badge from the blogger who inspired you — it’s on your post — so be sure to make it easy for them to find.

If you wanna play #wcw with me, here's your badge!
If you wanna play #wcw with me, grab that panda badge!

* To see the badge I earned, visit my very first #WCW post. And, here’s my pingback: Rebirth of Lisa

 

 

 

 

I Pledge to Change the World!

Attention: Mental Health Awareness lime green whistle
Photo by Steven Depolo

There is a stigma attached to my life, it is called Bipolar Disorder. My pledge is about educating those around me and beyond me. Stigma comes from fear. My fear of how you’ll respond when I tell you and your fear that I will suddenly go postal on you.

I won’t. You are safe. This is my problem, not yours. This impacts my family, not yours. You are safe. Sit down and talk with me, ask me questions about it. I will not bite. I am happy to share because once you know me and understand me you will feel better and so will I. I am making the world a more understanding place one person at a time.

I have joined forces with Jade Moore to create the mental health blog, Letters to the Mind, where we invite YOU to write to your mental illness. You will grow from the exercise and you will teach by leaving your letters, poems, and stories behind for others to consume, relate to, and learn from.

We want you to have a dialog with your illness. We want you to grow and flourish and be all that is possible. We want you to help educate others. We want your creative voices to join us in changing the world!

Do you live with someone who is diagnosed with a mental illness? Please, join us. Your viewpoint is just as weighty as ours.

Jade writes on the Contribution page:

There are no restrictions as to what you write or in what form you write in, and no issue is excluded. This is your piece of writing, and it is for you to make it whatever you want it to be, so there is no wrong way to do this, but here are some suggestions of forms you might like to write in:

A letter
A poem
A short essay/blog post
A script-like conversation (between you and your issue)
A short story/flash fiction (involving you both as characters)
A piece of art – see the ‘Art’ page for more information.

Like I said, you are not restricted to these forms and I encourage you to use your imagination, but I put emphasis on the fact that the act of writing your piece should (I hope!) act as a coping method and a technique that will help you to deal with your mental health and to feel better and think differently about it.

Get out from #behindthedisguise!  Click here to go to the How to Contribute page of Letters to the Mind blog project.

So I guess I am warming up to these blogging awards.

I used to hate the chain-like quality of blogging awards, but now I am understanding more and more the importance of the nomination process. It allows us to get more eyes on the blogs that we ourselves appreciate and/or take inspiration from, whether in our writing or our life.

And so, I guess I have to find a way to nominate without allowing the nomination process to take away from the sincerity of my feelings. And in this moment I can only really see doing it in the manner I did when I received the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. In that case we were “required” to nominate 15 people. I did not nominate 15 people. I wasn’t inspired by 15 people. The awards I pass along must remain sincere. So like I did then, I will continue to nominate the people I feel do deserve the awards rather than generating a particular number of links.

And as for the inspiration for this particular post, it came from Chris who nominated me on July 19th for the Liebster Award. I want to take a moment to tell you briefly about Chris because he is someone who I find to be a remarkable human being.

As many of you know I live my life with a mental health label: Bipolar Disorder. And it is because of this label and how greatly misconstrued and misunderstood it is that I occasionally weave posts about it into my blog as well as follow a lot of other mental health blogs that I find to be useful in combating (external) social judgement and (internal) judgement.

Chris has one such blog. It is entitled, Surviving the Spector because as you will learn on his About page, he is a suicide survivor. He, like all of us, still has demons to face each day, however his past action has given him a new strength that each of us can learn and draw from. He is now a teacher among us and everyone can learn from him. So please, check out his blog and give him a follow. You’ll be glad you did! Thank you, Chris, for being YOU! And thank you for this nomination.

Now, on to my newest blogging award: The Liebster!

liebsterpic

 

Like 99% of the online blogging awards, this award comes with a set of rules to follow. Someone created a wonderful image so that they’ll really stand out on the page. I’d like to give that person credit but unfortunately I don’t know who did it. I will however use it (as I am sure they intended for its use to be carried forward) with gratitude and hope my nominees will do the same.

liebsterpic_001

 

Chris asked:

1.  In what state and/or country do you live (if outside the U.S.)?
A. Memee lives in Washington state but hopes to move to California in September.

2.  What is your favorite genre of music and THE band that goes with it?
A. Dating me huh? 80s pop! And as for “THE” band. I cannot really say there was one. I loved the women vocalists mostly. But, being that I said at the beginning of this post that I would strictly follow the rules I will identify Duran Duran because Girls on Film, Hungry Like the Wolf, Rio, Union of the Snake, The Reflex and The Wild Boys still gets me itching to dance!

3.  What is a life quote of yours?
A.  Well, Chris, I wasn’t sure if you meant one I created or one I live by.  I am going with the one I am trying to learn to live by.  It was originated by John Wayne:  “Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.”

4.  Where do you find solace?
A.  with God.

5.  What are three triggers you have?
A. (1) Victimizing oneself (2) Patronizing words (3) Accusations (direct or alluded to)

6. Insert your favorite meme in the space below-

Koala

7.  What is a coping mechanism you use to combat your mental situation?
A.  Attending Group and/or seeking out time with friends because I have a tendency to isolate.

8.  When you sit down to write a blog post, where does your inspiration come from?
A.  Life, Death and the World around me. I thought you read my About page?! {snicker snicker}

9. Right here, right now, say something to the person who has hurt you the most, beginning with, “I promise to…”
A. I promise to keep trying to communicate my needs and feelings effectively with you.

10. What one regret do you hold onto that you wish you could let go of?
A. I am sorry but I am going to keep that one between, myself, my God, and my counselor.

11. What’s the most valuable piece of advice someone has given to you?
A. Accept yourself.

11 More Random Facts About Memee

1. I hate apple pie.
2. I love baseball.
3. I hate coffee.
4. I love coffee ice cream.
5. I prefer almond milk.
6. I don’t actually care for almonds themselves.
7. I lived in Mexico for a month during my 7th grade school year.
8. I lived in China for 1 month in 2004.
9. I lived in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, USA for 3 months.
10. I lived in Boise, Idaho for 6 months.
11. I enjoy my Juice Plus+ every day.

Blogs Deserving Of Your Attention

1. Kokkewietblog.com She’s only begun her journey in July, but I see her humor and love her artistic strokes!

2. Thoughts of a Trainwrecked Pineapple I don’t know how many followers Carlos has, but I sure recognize myself in his blog and he started the same month I did. If you enjoy me, you’ll like him too!

3. Beatriz shares stories about plants and animals on her blog, gardeningB, where she shares her experiences with edible gardening in tropical Florida, sharing unique but delicious sounding recipes and highlighting her posts with gorgeous photography.

4. Carol has time to share her favorite recipes on Retired? No One Told Me! now that she has retired to “sunny Phuket where some will say I am living my dream ..well never wearing stiletto’s again is one of them realised..Long live bare feet and flip-flops!” Aside from the wonderful recipes, I have noticed that she loves chatting with her followers, helping them with the recipes and creating online friendships along the way.

5. Chad speaks of his extremely personal struggle with bipolar disorder while weaving in how his Mormon doctrines have guided him to a new discovery of a happier, healthier self on his website CMMcDonaldbooks and although I don’t think he will pass the award along, I think his journey can help others better understand what our lives can look like with mental illness and/or with God by their side.

6. Kelli Blogs “just not as often as she thinks she should,” which I find to be refreshing, honest and downright witty. And do you know what else she does? Kelli Cooks! But this blog is dedicated mostly to adoption, though she has music and food posts as well.

7. This one is for all the female bloggers out there. Anything and everything relevant to the emerging powerful woman within each of us can be found at I Blog For Us.

8. Chris posts the best motivational quotes! Everyone needs motivation: Students, Parents, Bloggers! The Motivational Mentalist

Yes, I am aware that was eight nominations and not eleven, but for the sake of sincerity of my appreciation these are the blogs I believe are deserving of your attention. Also, I am not sure I adhered strictly to the “less than 200 followers” rule as some of my nominees don’t have a stat count showing for followers and there may be one or two that, like me, had a few more than 200 at the time I began this article posting (last month).

Nominees, Your 11 Random Questions Are:

1. Do you believe in ghosts and if so have you seen any?
2. What animals, if any, do you currently reside with. Names too please!
3. Tell me, what is your favorite nickname and why?
4. Is there anyone that you would step in front of a train for? If yes, who is it?
5. Can you wiggle your ears?
6. Do you brush your teeth in the shower?
7. Why do you think drinking water from a bottle is a good idea?
8. Have you ever eaten anything that sounds gross but wasn’t?
9. Do you ever talk or walk in your sleep?
10. Are you easy to read?
11. Is there someone important to you that suffers from a mental illness (yourself included)?