How do I define the word relationship? It is the state of being in relation with another person. I stand here, you stand there. I am above you, beside you, beneath you. You are my boss and I am your employee. I am your mother and you are my son. We are friends, family, spouses, co-workers, teammates, partners, acquaintances, or strangers. Everyone, each and every one of us is in relationship with one another. That is how I define the word “relationship”.
And from there it gets so very complicated and so damn confusing. I am a very emotional creature. Emotion drives my dreams, my desires, my thoughts and my actions. There is something truly wonderful about being an emotionally-driven person, like, for example, you feel everything more profoundly. Can you imagine that? Feeling more wonder, more bliss, more delight, more love than you actually feel right now? But, alas, that means we also feel the fears and the pains more acutely. Do you really want to feel that? Do you want your emotional insecurities, pains and fears to multiply by ten-fold?
Sometimes, like today, I wish that life’s emotions in relationship to others was as simple as: I like you. I love you. I dislike you. I hate you. Hey, I’d even settle for adding apathy to that list. Why? Because communicating with our friends, family, neighbors and co-workers, even talking with a stranger or an acquaintance would be so much easier. Imagine being able to speak with someone, anyone, and have them interpret your exact meaning precisely! There’d be zero room for emotional insecurities, beliefs, or even your momentary mood to discolor another person’s words or intentions.
Can you imagine that? How many misunderstandings and arguments would be cleared up? How many missed signals you would catch? Would we even have insecurities? It’s something to think about. True, our emotions would be dampened greatly or perhaps even mostly snubbed out like one might see in a futuristic movie. Take the 1973 film Sleeper written, directed, and starring Woody Allen as an example.
Miles (Woody Allen), a man who was cryogenically frozen for 200 years and Luna (Diane Keaton) an intelligent, progressive woman living in a 1984-type world are talking about relationships and how they have changed in the 200 years he’d been “sleeping”.
(major movie spoiler alert follows):
LUNA: But, Miles, meaningful relationships between men and women don’t last. That was proven. By Science. You see, there’s a chemical in our bodies that makes it all so that we all get on each other’s nerves sooner or later.
MILES: Hey, that’s science. I don’t believe in Science. You know, science is… an intellectual dead end. You know, it’s a lot of guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants and…
LUNA: Oh, I see. You don’t believe in science. And you also don’t believe that the political systems work. And you don’t believe in God, huh?
LUNA: So then, what do you believe in?
MILES: Sex and death. Two things that come once in my lifetime. But at least after death you’re not nauseous.
Still, think about it. It’s an interesting idea, where will your mind take you?