Agonizing Turmoil

Agonizing Turmoil | Memee's Musings
Gorgeous painting, Turmoil, by Michael Lang

Memee’s Poetry Party was once again a success. I always enjoy reading the poems that you create and post based on the theme I offer. For March we wrote about New Beginnings. I choose it becuase of the circumstances surrounding my friends’ life, but now it is my turn.

I have decided that I can no longer live as persona non grata (actually things have grown much worse since that article). I’ve spent much time looking for work that would afford me the ability to rent my own place but it just doesn’t seem meant to be. And so today I face the agony of leaving the man I have been falling in love with, walking away from the sunshine that has vastly improved my ability to maintain an emotional balance, and dread tomorrow, when I will tell my hosts that I intend to leave ASAP, goal: this upcoming weekend. I fear the turmoil and open hostility that could create, but I cannot live my life on these eggshells. I need stability and kindness not fear and anxiety.

My goals remain the same, I do intend to return to CA, but I will be better prepared the next time I come here.

Washington, be ready, I’m coming home… at least for now.

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