Agonizing Turmoil

Agonizing Turmoil | Memee's Musings
Gorgeous painting, Turmoil, by Michael Lang

Memee’s Poetry Party was once again a success. I always enjoy reading the poems that you create and post based on the theme I offer. For March we wrote about New Beginnings. I choose it becuase of the circumstances surrounding my friends’ life, but now it is my turn.

I have decided that I can no longer live as persona non grata (actually things have grown much worse since that article). I’ve spent much time looking for work that would afford me the ability to rent my own place but it just doesn’t seem meant to be. And so today I face the agony of leaving the man I have been falling in love with, walking away from the sunshine that has vastly improved my ability to maintain an emotional balance, and dread tomorrow, when I will tell my hosts that I intend to leave ASAP, goal: this upcoming weekend. I fear the turmoil and open hostility that could create, but I cannot live my life on these eggshells. I need stability and kindness not fear and anxiety.

My goals remain the same, I do intend to return to CA, but I will be better prepared the next time I come here.

Washington, be ready, I’m coming home… at least for now.

#WCW on Opportunity

When things happen in our lives, bringing disappointment into our hearts we lean on our friends for support and compassion. And more likely than not we have heard or even offered this adage (or a bastardized version thereof) with the desire it will help the person find hope. I know I say it to myself to kickstart my brain into positive thinking: “When one door closes, another door opens.”

But did you know that is not the entire quote? In fact, the point, nay, the meaning of the quote as originally stated has been dropped. I discovered this while working on the post about this month’s poetry party and wanted to get the wording correct as I’ve heard many bastardized versions and wanted to get it right. I was surprised first by who said it. And then, of course, that there was more to it. And I like the entire quote. I like it a lot because it is powerful and true.

I am a person who rarely lives in the present. I spend a lot of time thinking about the past and a lot of time pondering about the future… which is actually quite ridiculous because we can never imagine what the future truly holds. I like the quote because it reminds me that we must remember where to focus our lives and spend our time.

#WCW on opportunity | Memee's Musings

I hope you enjoyed the relevant quote for this week’s Words Crush Wednesday. If you’d like to play along with me here are the details:

Cut/paste and follow these simple rules:

(1) Always pingback to the site you discovered #wcw on with every Words Crush Wednesday post. In this case, that’s me: memeesmusings.com!

(2) In your post, use the badge they’ve created just for you – In this case, you’d use the Panda badge (size doesn’t matter), just grab it below.

(3) Tag your post #wcw so the Words Crush Wednesday community players can find you.

(4) Optional: When you are ready, create your own badge for those you inspire to play Words Crush Wednesday. If you do not create your own badge then your inspirees MUST use the badge from the blogger who inspired you — it’s on your post — so be sure to make it easy for them to find.

 

If you wanna play #wcw with me, here's your badge!
If you wanna play #wcw with me, grab that panda badge!

* To see the badge I earned, visit my very first #WCW post. And, here’s my pingback: Rebirth of Lisa

Moving Forward

If you wanna play #wcw with me, here's your badge!
If you wanna play #wcw with me, here’s your badge!

In the past 12 months there have been so many endings in my life now it is time for me to forge new beginnings. And so I am moving forward, southward actually, to sunny California. I have no commitment to staying forever. It is just something I am “trying on” to see if it still fits (I was born and raised in northern California).

I have an incredible network of friends in Washington state, so strong that calling them friends does not indicate how meaningful these relationships are. They support me in my move and I know that whether I stay in California or return to Washington, they will always be my circle of support.

Moving Forward |Memee's Musings

If you’d like to play along in Words Crush Wednesday (#wcw) just cut/paste and follow these simple rules:

(1) Pingback to the site you discovered #wcw on with every Words Crush Wednesday post. In this case, that’s me: memeesmusings.com! (you’ll want to switch out my name for yours)

(2) Use the badge they’ve created just for you – size doesn’t matter

(3) Tag your post #wcw so other players can find you

(4) Optional: When you are ready, create your own badge for those you inspire to play Words Crush Wednesday. If you do not create your own badge then your inspirees MUST use the badge from the blogger who inspired you, so be sure to make it easy for them to find.

That’s so super simple, you just might want to do it too!

* To see the badge I earned, visit my very first #WCW post. And, here’s my pingback: Rebirth of Lisa

Our Song: Then and Now

You hold my heart in your handsThis has been a very difficult week for me. There is no reason for it being more difficult than the week before, other than, I suppose, I am healing from the pain of my broken heart. I am learning acceptance despite my desire to rebuke the truth that we have no future. I am so broken and yet I continue breathing despite my strong desire to just close my eyes and sleep. Continue reading