Why do we flirt with disaster? Why do some of the smartest, sweetest, kindest women fall for “bad boys”? I mean, we know perfectly well that both of those things only lead to heartache, heartbreak and what’s that third thing? Oh, yeah, right… fun!
Dangnabit! Why does being naughty always have to be so much fun? I don’t want to be a bad, bad girl, but sometimes I just cannot stop myself from heading down the path of my own heartbreak, especially late at night. Maybe I need to learn to go to bed before the sun sets so I am not left standing, looking out the window and remembering the past or fantasizing about a future that can no longer exist.
I wish I understood why I am pulled so strongly to you. I wish I knew how to control my desires for you. I wish I knew how to protect my heart and just play and have fun and enjoy the play for the game itself. Why must my heart always insist on tagging along on these exploits? I know the heart wants what the heart wants, but how do I explain to my heart that you are off-limits. That you are a bad boy and I am a good girl and what we had in the past has no place in our future? I don’t want to let you go but I know I must. I am struggling and fighting my urges, my dreams, my desires and I hate every single moment of it. I don’t want to be good, I don’t want to say no and I don’t want to stop, not ever. And yet I don’t want the pain that is waiting around the next bend either.
Memee's Musings 