A hug is warm, sincere and always meaningful. And in my experience, they always land at the exact right time! I have mentioned before that I live my life walking the tightrope wires of being bipolar. Today is a great example of how quickly a mood can change for someone with bipolar disorder. Yesterday I wrote about first love, healing from past pains and having hope for a new future; yet, today, I awoke as depressed as ever. Yes, I always take my medication and no, nothing significant occurred in my life in the intervening hours. It just is what it is. BTW, I am actually writing this on Wednesday though you’ll not be reading it for another day because this will be my Thankful Thursday post.
Thankful Thursdays are about recognizing the positive things that occur in our lives, which is especially important when we are not feeling aglow with happiness, when we’re not dancing in the sunshine under rainbows with our best friend the unicorn. So as I said today is Wednesday and I am thankful today and will be thankful again tomorrow for hugs. I was feeling so down today I didn’t actually crawl out of bed until 4:00 p.m. It’s not that I was awake too late the night before, I wasn’t. I went to bed at a reasonable hour. I didn’t even read myself to sleep. But today when I awoke I just wasn’t feeling happy and didn’t want to live through the day. I am not saying I was suicidal, I am saying that I just needed to escape from the day that was before me. And so after going to the bathroom and taking my medications I crawled back into bed and went to sleep. At 4:00 p.m. my alarm went off, it was time to not only get up, but leave the apartment. I had a physical therapy appointment to get to. And so I got up and got out.
I was out of bed and out of the house but not out of my bad mood and everyone at the clinic could tell. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Has something happened? Usually, when people ask these types of questions they’re just doing it to be polite. They don’t care about the answer, in fact they don’t even listen to the answer. And oftentimes when you are honest and frank and tell them what is bothering you, you end up feeling like you’ve been rude for sharing, a burden, or an “ass”.
These people at my physical therapy clinic are not like that though, they are sincere and really do like me for me and I know they care about me. But still, what do you say when really, there isn’t anything wrong other than the fact that your brain chemicals are off-kilter and you are in a crappy mood where no one and nothing can be right?
Today though, it didn’t matter how I responded. Today they saw my mood, showed concern and even announced that I would be the recipient of hugs because today, Wednesday the 21st, was National Hug Day — though I know that was just an excuse. I needed it and it came from the universe and from the arms of friends. It meant something. They did something right when I was not prepared for anything to be right. I wonder now if this act of kindness stopped my depression from continuing to cycle downward. I mean, I am not feeling happy but at the same time it hasn’t gotten worse. I didn’t come home and go straight back to bed even. Hmm, I’ll have to begin a trial run of hug therapy and see how that goes!
I am thankful for hugs. I am thankful for all of the hugs I have received in the past, the hugs I received today, and the hugs I will receive tomorrow and on into the future. I like the long ones best, but they’re all good when they are sincerely given. And I am going to do my best to give them out when I need them or I think someone else needs them because we all do need them, so why wait for them to come to me?
Have you had a hug today? If not, don’t wait… go out and give one away, you’ll get it back instantly and you’ll feel happier for it. I mean, really, in this world of instant gratification what could be better than a friend showing another friend compassion and empathy, warmth and caring in something as simple and easy as an unexpected hug? Not much, I say.