My Hero, My Nemesis

A Poem to my manic-depressive personalitiesOh how I love you
and wish you were near
when we are together
conquering the world
is always near!

Oh how I hate you
and wish I could flee
the words you are always
screaming at me:
Worthless! Hopeless! Unloveable!
Inadequate! Boring! Weak! Undeserving!

You can be so relentless, so cruel and mean,
heartless to Me who carries Your pain!

How this world of mine collides
My hero, My nemesis
from one day to the next,
who will be with me — I am so tired of this!

I walk the rope you lie before me
fearing in each and every step
the next one might be the one
where I slip.

Why can’t we come
to some understanding?
Release this ever-present tension
between us, reach a balance
not too high and not too low,
and finally live a life in harmony?

© MemeesMusings/B.L. Memee, 2015-2017. All rights reserved.

I originally published the above poem on Letters to the Mind blog project. Please consider writing to the mental illness that impacts the world you walk in and sharing it with our new community blog. We are hoping other creatives who suffer from a mental illness or have a family member/loved one with a mental illness will write to the illness and post it on the site for two purposes.

The first is as a way to grow and challenge how we relate to our illness and the second is to educate other people about the various mental illnesses that people live with every single day. With education comes understanding and with understanding stigma begins to fall ill and eventually dies.

For more information on contributing at Letters to the Mind blog project, click here.

We ALWAYS need contributors, any and all mental disorders welcome. No one is turned away and your own blogs, media platforms are cataloged and linked on the site.

Thank you,

Memee (and Jade)

Hashtag Convos… Love’m or Hate’m?

Hashtag Convos | Memee's Musings

So I belong to this #supersecret #society on #Facebook. It’s so secret they don’t even know I am there. Well anyway, there are these #twowomen who have #full-on, #double-breasted hashtag convos. And, I’m all like, “Hello! What’s this? It totally #openedmyeyes and #gotmymotorrunning! I’ve become the #tantalized #voyeur to their #matingdance. Or, more accurately, their #titillated #PeepingTom because, as I said, they don’t even know #Iamwatching!

I used to feel very #conflicted and #confused about #hashtags. I have #zerounderstanding for how they #function in #relationship to #oneanother. #Butt seeing these professionals #dishin it out like #foreplay I fell #inlove.

I still #dontgetit but at least I’m having a #ball with it.

So how about you? Love’m or Hate’m? Take the #HashtagPoll or give me the #dingdonglong or #supershort of it in the #comments #DownUnder. #ScratchMyItch, I’m ready to be #schooled!

Scorned Woman Lashes Out on Facebook: 12 Years of Love and What Did She Get? A Dear Joan Text

TECH-breaking-up-online-2

 

Wow.  We cannot ever be friends again, at any level.  You are dead to me.  And honestly, I cannot promise that I will be alive a year from now because of this. You are the number 2 person in my life, have been for more than a decade. The reason I can never break up with you is that I cannot breathe when we are apart… two years go by and I still cannot breathe.  I learned that lesson and decided to be happy with what I had and told you I wouldn’t try to break up with you again.  Life without you suffocates me.  Making that verbal commitment to you, that gave me peace and I had been happy ever since.  You knew my limits and you made a decision and here is what I have to say about it: Continue reading

She Knocked Three Times (a fairytale)

She Knocked Three Times | Memee's Musings
Magic Brew by Loopy Dave

It was a Wednesday, the day I usually set aside for laundry. I had just finished steeping my tea and sat down to go over my assignment list for the upcoming week. With the whirling noise of the washer on spin cycle soothing my senses and the wafting smell of peppermint rising from my teacup I began to unwind and relax. I sighed a long sigh of comfort in knowing that all was as it should be when suddenly I heard three loud thumps coming from the laundry room.

I had not remembered putting shoes in the dryer though I suppose it was entirely possible as I do tend to daydream while sorting the dirty clothes and loading the washer. I got up and went to the laundry room feeling annoyed at myself for not inserting the shoe rack into the dryer. As I approached the room I realized the banging had stopped, but how could that be? Continue reading

This dog is not looking for a home… and you’ll be disappointed!

Patient PittieAnyone who knows anything about pits knows that they will do whatever it takes to be loved by their owner.  It’s part of the reason they get a bad rap… if humans only give attention to their pit when they are misbehaving, like a child that is neglected, it will perform the negative behavior because some attention is always better than no attention.  If the human owner treats the dog abusively, throwing things at him, hitting or kicking him, yelling at him, like a child imitating a violent father, he will learn to be aggressive. And then you have those evil, evil humans who fight them.

Pit Bulls are one of the most patient and loving dogs you can get.  And of course, like any mixed breed “mutt” he’ll have less medical problems then a purebred.

Educate yourself before calling fowl on a pit bull!

I hope you enjoy the photos of this wonderfully patient pittie as much as our family did. I don’t know who took them, when or where they were originally uploaded. I saw it on Pinterest, and their link led back to Morably.com however, the photo is marked evilmilk.com. Visit at your own risk, I’ve not done so.

(Please educate yourself about the discrimination and negative propaganda campaign being promulgated against these wonderful dogs before you simply walk past them. I highly recommend the documentary Beyond the Myth which you can stream on Netflix, purchase or rent on Amazon or even Youtube for $1.99.)

Diving into Social Networks

img_swim-lessonWhen I was a teen, swimming class was a requirement for getting a high school diploma. So, sophomore year, 1st period, Monday through Friday, I attended swim class. I never could do the diving, even off the side of the pool.  Each and every attempt I’d come up out of the water choking and gagging on chlorine-saturated pool water. I tried everything, holding my nose, blowing out, nose plugs, anything that I was told might help I tried.  Nothing did. I was convinced the water must be flooding into my throat through my ears, closed eye sockets and even the very pores of my skin… those that weren’t clogged with blackheads, that is.  As I said, I tried everything — well, everything that is except being one of those girls who refused to get their hair wet so they did nothing over the hour except hold on to the side of the pool kicking their feet like idiots.  Now I think perhaps those girls were the smart ones, I mean, I’m pretty sure they were having more fun in swim class than I was… probably gossiping about the boys and their swim trunks while I had the nerve of pridefulness which meant I spent my weekday mornings drowning like a wet rat that cannot climb out of a toilet bowl.

But still, at the time, I handled swim class. I did, after all, have my cute little Speedo swimsuit which looked superfine on me… little did I know until the second-to-last day of class that OMG! it clung so snuggly it was practically see-through! Let me tell you that was much, much more horrifying than having to shower naked with 30 other girls of all shapes and sizes and personalities!  We all know about mean girls, but in the showers and locker rooms, that’s where they could be the most vicious and you never knew who would catch the brunt of it from one day to the next.  But aside from that very last day of class where I sat on the bench in full dress, claiming menses, I made it through that class and that entire year walking around with wet scraggly hair, faintly smelling of chlorine and I will, in time, as I did then, make it through this course as well. Continue reading

A Matter of Perfect Timing

Home at lastShe carefully opened the door, not sure what to expect. It had been a while since she has visited. Nothing was the way she remembered and when her eyes finally got adjusted to the dark, what she saw made her shiver… it was him, it was Nathan, the one who got away, the first one there ever was and the first one there would ever be. Nathan Webb, her first love standing there in the doorway 18 years after they had last seen one another. Two lifetimes standing in the gap resting there between them and yet it was still there, that tugging of the heart strings, the vibration of two hundred butterfly wings flapping through their stomachs making each of them feel alive with wonder, excitement, fear, lust and longing. They looked quietly at one another for a moment as they spoke deeply to one another’s soul though they spoke with no words at all. Their eyes said everything that needed to be said. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I will always love you. And now the time had come, the time that was always meant to be, it is their time, and so they step toward one another and as their chests kiss in the warm embrace he whispers to her, “Finally.”

☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀

The above short story was inspired by Author S B Mazing’s blog event Finish It, which is a Blogging201 assignment we’re asked to do to further expand our experiences and our community networks. Join her party to experiment with a story prompt and give your fingers a shot at short story telling… every Wednesday she’ll provide a new prompt!

Also, if you’re in Blogging201, please consider hopping on over to my assignment event and give your hand a whirl at poetry (you’ve got ten days to work it out!), come on, you can do it! The theme is there all you gotta do is figure out what you want it to say and, well, say it! I will do this the middle of every month, the poetic theme will change each time.  On twitter watch for #memeespoetryparties                          Thanks for reading!

☀ Memee